There are certain external conditions that are conducive to prayer and make it much easier. Silence, turning off technology, perhaps a little chapel with a candle- these all help to reduce distractions and are an aid to prayer. But eliminating all external distractions is certainly no guarantee of a strong and deep prayer life, and this I can attest to from personal, recent, experience.
Over the past few years, I have gone to great lengths to create a peaceful, silent, and prayerful environment. My objective has been to deepen my prayer life and live a more interior life. I have tried to remove the noise and the busyness of life that make recollection so difficult. And yet, here I am in the midst of dryness and complete aridity in prayer.
It has happened to me more than once, that I know something to be true, but I forget it in practice. I know that one's environment doesn't guarantee a good prayer life- it is possible to be recollected in a busy and chaotic external and it’s possible to be not recollected in the most peaceful serene situation.
Aridity in prayer can be caused by a variety of factors, but sometimes- not always- it is caused by laxity. Here is an explanation from Divine Intimacy: ‘Sometimes it [dryness in prayer] is the result of infidelity on the part of those who little by little have become lax, allowing themselves many slight satisfactions and pleasures and giving in to their curiosity, selfishness, or pride- which they had previously renounced. The habit of mortification, which was acquired at great cost, is quickly lost, and they again become slaves of their own passions.’
This has happened to me. Gradually, over the past few months, I’ve let my prayer times slip, losing discipline in the regularity of my schedule and allowing for a variety of excuses as to why I may have to skip my time for mental prayer. For me personally, a small but important thing is what St. Escriva refers to as the ‘heroic moment’- rising immediately upon waking and lifting your heart and mind to God.
At 5am when my alarm rings the ‘self’ wants to hit snooze, to roll over and take ‘just 10 more minutes’ of rest, warmth and comfort. In that moment, there is the freedom to choose. To choose the self and roll over and go back to sleep, or to choose to mortify the flesh, stick with my resolution and get up. This is a very little thing- no one sees it, there is practical impact on the material world - but it is huge in the life of the soul. It is an act of the will and as such is critical to the life of the soul and progress in the spiritual life.
All of these little choices we make are momentous. Each act of the will matters. Big time. When someone’s prayer life is interrupted by one’s duty, for example a sick child, this doesn’t lead to aridity, because it is not an act of the will. In fact, it is meritorious and right to put the duties of one’s state in life first, even before prayer. But when things start to slip because of acts of the will it is dangerous.
So, what is the remedy? Return to your fervor, renewing the firm resolutions once made and begin again.
‘I am weak; strengthen me. Bring me back, because I have wandered away, and revive me, because I am dead. According to Your good pleasure, direct and govern my senses, my thoughts, and my actions, that I may live by You and give myself entirely to You.” St. Augustine
About GlenMary
GlenMary is a farmstead and retreat house nestled in the heart of the Ottawa Valley. Inspired by the Catholic Land Movement, the farmstead aims to produce food in a sustainable small-scale way using permaculture methods and to produce a 'cottage line' of handmade products. The Retreat House is available for long- and short-term rentals and available for prayer retreats for those seeking silence and peace and time with God.
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